I’m a creative person and love to paint, sew, decorate, make jewellery etc. This made me subscribe to 2 magazines. One has a lot of creative goodies to diy and the other one has garden & home ideas to diy. Lately I’ve been having trouble with their delivery. I don’t get it in my mailbox. Now this month I got it but it was thrown onto my grass which totally defeats the purpose of having a post-box and my dogs ate it. All I got was leftover scraps which where barely readable, never mind unrecognizable.

I started thinking about what I would post today and recognised life is much the same. We get thrown to the dogs and get eaten up with barely recognising the person we’ve become. Past mistakes draw us into a miserable pit of self destruction, hurt and emotional weakness and we see no way out. We build walls to protect ourselves but instead harm those around us. Searching for approval, love or something more!

Have you ever been there?

I’ve been in a place like that many times. I stopped crying because it was a sign of weakness. And wolves prey on weaknesses. And I wasn’t going to be weak!! I started building walls to protect me and keep sadness out. I would turn anything that hurt me into anger because I can live with anger. But not with pain or the tears that came hand in hand with that emotional feeling! That was just too hard!! And if someone told me I couldn’t do something. I would prove that I could.

I think God makes us aware of these things to show what’s in our hearts. Over the weekend I was made aware of a little something that I didn’t think was there any more. I thought I had dealt with it. But I was made aware of my heart being so hard that I neglect the needs of others. And it hurt. More than I expected it to but it did. I thought that I was thoughtful most of the time and I cared enough. But I was so wrong… Those closest to me see the hardness which I seem to miss. And one of those people closest to me had the courage to tell me, face to face.

I’ve built so many walls around me in my life to protect myself from people’s words and actions and in return I could cope with whatever life would throw my way. But in the process I was harming some of the ones closest to me. I’ve neglected to show love… which is the most important of all.

1 Corinthians 13 has such a beautiful description. I recognise how I’ve fallen short. But I realise that only God can break down those walls. I want to have a heart like His. And the only way He can work on mine is if I let Him. If I give Him all my broken pieces He could make something new out of me. He can break those walls and let me love like Jesus.

I am so grateful that He is mindful of me. Psalm 8: 4what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?

That He would open my eyes to see what others see and what I seem to miss. I still have so much to learn. But am willing, because I love Him. After all, He is the potter and I am the clay. When He refines us we are worth the price He paid. But what if we fail Him? Was it worth it? He seemed to think so when He gave His life for me and every one of you.

My heart whispers these words continually. Especially when I fall short, or when I fail Him. I need You Jesus, You are all I need. My prayer for you today. To have Jesus. He is all you’ll ever need!!
I leave you with the lyrics of this song by Jaci Velasques:

Jesus is…
You’re my best friend
In spite of flaws
I can’t believe You’re always there
You hear my prayers

You are my rock
You harbor truth
I can see Your light shine everywhere
It’s all around me

You never judge me for my faults
Your love is unconditional
Without You I don’t know where I’d be

Jesus is
The sweet, sweet love of my soul
Jesus is
The only thing making me whole
He’s everything to me
All I desire to be
That’s what Jesus is
That’s what Jesus is

Sweet comforter
You ease my mind
Always beside me constantly
You never leave me

And You know me, oh, so well
Better than I know myself
And Your word is all that I believe

Jesus is
The sweet, sweet love of my soul
Jesus is
The only thing making me whole
He’s everything to me
All I desire to be
That’s what Jesus is
That’s what Jesus is

You’re the spark of heaven’s light
The stars that shine at night
Here with You it feels like home

Jesus is
Jesus is
The healer of my heart when it breaks
Jesus is
Forgiveness when I make a mistake
He’s all that I believe
He’s everything I need
That’s what Jesus is

Jesus is
The sweet, sweet love of my soul (sweet, sweet Jesus)
Jesus is
The only thing making me whole
He’s everything to me
All I desire to be
That’s what Jesus is
That’s what Jesus is

He’s all that I believe
He’s every breath I breathe
That’s what Jesus is
That’s what my Jesus is

With love always
Zaskia

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