Have you ever just had one of those days?

A day you wished were over so you could just start over again! Well! I’ve had many of those and yesterday was another one of them.

Remember the car I got? Well yet again it left me without transport. A while back it wouldn’t start. Then the flickers aren’t working and yesterday it left me stranded in the middle of a main road as I was driving over it to the other side. My patience wearing thin.

Then I wanted to phone for help. But my blackberry also decided to freeze again leaving me without help. I hit it against the steering wheel in frustration. After that I took out the battery of the cell phone. Telling the car what I thought of it while giving my phone a yell or two, and waited for my phone to restart. Then out of nowhere 2 men came and pushed me to the side of the road. I was grateful. But, still furious.

And when I get angry I cry. But this wasn’t the place or time for it. So I swallowed my tears back. I kicked and cursed and then got out of the car. Banging the door closed. I felt all alone in this world… Then I was reminded of the disciples who also battled with sinful nature.

Romans 7: 15 – 15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do–this I keep on doing.
20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. 21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23but I see another law at work in then members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God–through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

I started walking home. I wasn’t showing godly character. Let alone behaving godly. I didn’t want this, I WAS MAD. I so need Gods grace for that moment and so many other moments like these. I am weak. But He is strong!

2nd Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

On the way I tried to reach my husband whose phone was off. So I was even more frustrated. Eventually half way home I got hold of someone who send someone else to fetch me. This person waited on another spot so I had to walk all the way back which broke the little bit of string I had left ( I had a blister on my toe from the shoes) and anger raging within.

Then as if that weren’t enough we drove back to the car. Really!! Just so this person could see that it definitely wasn’t starting. I sat in the car another 15 minutes. Still giving a piece of my mind to the car, to life and everything around me. I was fed up.

Tears were close to exploding. When I got home with my kids eventually I told them to have a bath while I just took time out. I have to keep reminding myself Philippians 413 I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Then I noticed Cloe (our Maltese poodle) never greeted us. I phoned the doggy parlour that fetched her earlier yesterday to find out if they still had her. The lady gave in to panic because she dropped Cloe off at the wrong house. Now I was in a state, with a lot of what ifs going through my head, hoping that she was safe. Then I got a call, Cloe was gone. I started crying. This built up tears were flooding. How was I supposed to tell my daughter that Cloe was gone? I tried to keep my head. Walked into the room they were in and asked them to come pray with me because Cloe is missing. They both cried but held my hand tightly while we prayed. After which I stood up and went outside to continue my good cry and talk to God.

Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

This day was just being too much for me. Another call 5 minutes later. She found Cloe. She was safe and unharmed. Oh how grateful we were. We prayed and thanked God for this miracle. All of a sudden the mess of earlier just seemed to dissolve when Cloe got home and we hugged and kissed her. She was just as happy to see us.

As we sat down for bible study we had grateful hearts. God gave us Cloe and she was safe.

In the midst of trials God is trying to teach us things. At this moment it feels like he wants to teach me patience & self control. But I can do it only through His strength in me. On my own I fail daily, but have Him as my strength.

I want to encourage you today. No matter what goes wrong, God always gives us hope. We need to spend time in His presence to feel like we can move on again. Today I have a bit more peace in my heart. But I know that I need to make time to spend at His feet. So I can be filled and be able to move on in difficult times like these.

With love always
Zaskia

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